eris kochmann

Eris' work explores themes from their experiences growing up in a Hmong-American household. Their work attempts to construct their identity through a variety of contexts including the role as the eldest child of immigrant parents, traditions and expectations within a cis-gendered culture, and Hmong folklore. Eris is currently pursuing their Bachelor’s degree in Graphic Design from Augsburg University. They hope to use the arts to deconstruct language and identity, inspire magic, and ask questions that are difficult to answer.

Instagram: @eriskain

Tus Menyuam Hlob

My piece is called ‘tus menyuam hlob’. It means ‘the oldest child’ in Hmong. It is an illustration of a knight that combines Hmong and European armor designs. This character is a reflection of the role I hold in my family. Being a knight involves being “gifted” the heavy responsibilities that I did not choose to take on. There is limited room for what knights can control which creates feelings of suffocation with the mass of expectations thrown upon them. 

This piece is intended to make space to those who were raised in an immigrant household with the role of being the oldest child. We are the first of a new generation from our parents’ lives. We are conditioned to become someone our loved ones see as successful. But that someone isn’t who I am or want to become. The oldest child is consumed by other’s needs and expectations; they carry around other’s trauma and burdens. They are numb to making their own decisions and stories.

I found making this piece frustrating because it was difficult to depict so many emotions and visuals into something I could call my own. I wanted this piece to express everything I wanted to say that I’ve been holding in for so long. There were a hundred different scenes and visuals in my head, playing out like a silent film. I wasn’t sure how to express any of it. Originally, I had planned for a darker piece that would be more quiet and intimate. I wanted ambient glowing warm tones in dark detailed spaces.  However, I think I  subconsciously wanted it to have a much larger presence that I wasn’t prepared for in the beginning.

I hope whoever sees my work makes space for me. There were many moments in the past where I have given up and shared my space with others when I didn’t want to. Having this space to express my work and identity really means the world.